I don’t mind tellin’ you. I love those chicken nuggets. Don’t matter which place they come from: Bojangles, McDonalds, Burger King, wherever, whatever, they’re good! Until now. It seems this science professor down in Mississippi analyzed those little boogers from two “major chains” (he didn’t say which ones) and found out some info I could have done without. Here’s my reaction. In a poem, natch.
WITH THESE CHICKEN BITS
I SHOULD CALL IT QUITS
by Dr. Crankenfuss
When I’m watching TV or just hanging out
And I wanna have a party in my mouth,
There ain’t a snack quite as kickin’
As a pack of nuggets made from chicken.
I settle in and take a bite;
Those chicken morsels are out of sight.
I hope I don’t sound like a big, fat lummox
But those things are phat for tongues and stomachs.
So now I read some doc’s analysis
That gave my gut instant paralysis.
He found what’s in a nugget of chicken.
Ain’t much better than an average nose pickin’.
There WAS some meat, Whew!
But lots of other stuff too
Like fat and gristle,
An occasional blood vessel,
Nerves and dead skin.
Are you still listenin?
I could have read more
But my stomach was too sore.
So after all the facts I’ve just cited,
Here’s what I’ve seriously decided:
There should be some parts of a chicken
That on my plate should be forbidden.
I shouldn’t be afraid I’ll kick the bucket
From chowin’ down on a chicken nugget.
So I think those chains really should
Not make those things taste so good.
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,