Post #132 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger –

This won’t be one of my usual trying-to-be-funny posts. It will be one of my this-is-so-logical-I-will-change-your-mind posts. It’s about the Winter Olympics, which I’ve been watching. Not all the time. I don’t care that much about the curling (huh??) or the ice dancing. But I really like the downhill skiing and the snowboard and ski tricks type of stuff. I don’t know how they do any of those things. Those people are all somewhere between being total superheroes and being totally crazy (since they could die if they landed wrong).

But this post is really about THE MEDAL COUNT STANDINGS. They’re figuring them out WRONG!! I spent a bunch of time calculating this and right now it doesn’t make that big a difference EXCEPT WHO SHOULD BE #1. After 14 days, TV and the internet sites have the USA in first and Russia in 2nd. I’m all for the USA winning, but I like being fair too. And what they’re using to judge is TOTAL MEDALS.

THAT IS WRONG, NOT LOGICAL, AND UNFAIR!! That means they’re counting a bronze medal the same as a gold medal. Everyone knows a gold medal is worth way more. If the USA had 20 gold medals and nothing else, surely that’s better than some other country getting 21 bronze medals and nothing else. But the way they do it now, that “bronze” country would be ahead.

So I calculated the standings a better way. I gave 3 points for a gold, 2 points for a silver, and 1 point for a bronze. That seems totally fair to me. When I add it all up that way, the standings are changed. Not by much, but now Russia is barely ahead of the USA. I’ve shown how it all works in the chart below. (I got the info on Friday night, February 21, from, but I added my own column at the end.)

Look at the last two columns and see how the Dr. Crankenfuss method changes things.
Look at the last two columns and see how the Dr. Crankenfuss method changes things.

As you can see I’ve put red circles around the countries that are getting “cheated” by the system people are using now. And I put a double circle around Belarus at #17. Man, they should be 5 places higher. If I was a Belarussian, I’d be really ticked. (But first I’d have to figure out where my country was.)

Anyway, that’s all I got. But I think the Dr. Crankenfuss way is way more fair, and that it should be used everywhere. So go, USA, and get enough medals in the next two days to win it all both ways!!

From Dr. Crankenfuss,
Your Dude with the ‘Tude
Who’s against standings that are skewed

Never, Ever Done Before! A Humor Book by a Kid for Kids!!

“Humor” Post #131 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger –

Woo-hoo! MY NEW BOOK IS OUT! I believe it’s the only joke book written by a kid for other kids. Think about that, would you. Can you think of any other book like that? I didn’t think so. (But if you know of one, please send me the info.)

Now there are way more than jokes in this thing. Just go under the book cover’s picture below to see some of the topics covered in the book.

Oh yeah, that cover. Well, here it is a few lines down. Not bad, eh? My book’s available at Amazon, Apple, and Barnes and Noble. (Click on any of those names and you’ll go straight to the book’s page.) And each place has a sample of the book so you can decide for yourself if you want to try it out. Oh, yeah, the cost? $2.99! That’s it. $2.99 for a giant dose of the Doctor!

If you think this cover is nice, check out the chapter headings below!
If you think this cover is nice, check out the chapter headings below!

So here are some of the chapters in the book:
** Dr. C Rants about Spitting (very engrossing, or just very gross)
** Dr. C Rants about Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (the dumbest song ever written)
** Amazing Mazes (I’ve given you some mazes that the smartest rat in our local psychology lab couldn’t figure out)
** The Fart Poem (Yes, you read that right. Be sure to put a clothes pin on your nose before you read it.)
** That’s Gotta Hurt (illustrations of situations that would humiliate you worse than you’ve ever been in your life)
** Good Student/Bad Student (two large pictures of students with labels to explain how you can tell which one is GOOD and which one is EVIL)
** The Nothing Page (a page with absolutely nothing that says a whole lot)
** Bad Wrap Rap (one of my favorite raps about that disgusting heavy plastic covering that covers many products)
** The Toughest Kind of School (a poem about the toughest school in the world)
** Optical Illusions (that will make your eyeballs come straight out of your head)

So how about checking out my book at one of the three bookstores above. Think about getting your own digital copy. And the book comes with over 70 full-color illustrations.

And I’m warning you now. I’ve already started on Volume II.

Thanks for listening.
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Still Mad, but at least he’s an Author,
Dr. Crankenfuss