Humor Post #73 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

I was watching ESPN’s Sports Center the other night and they had this great video collection of baseball managers blowing up at umpires. There were a lot of red-faced conniptions going on, but some took it way farther than that. Kicking dirt on the umps, throwing bats, tearing bases out of the ground, you name it, they were doing it. There’s this guy Wally Backman on some Georgia team who is famous on YouTube for having a mouth dirtier than a bus station bathroom. I’d put the link here but I don’t want to get in trouble with any parents who might be reading this. They could sic the cops on me for corrupting minors or something.

Anyway, near the end of this ESPN show — and I have to say it was pretty hilarious —  Crankenfuss had a brainstorm. Mightier than a hurricane, you can be sure. Here it is. I’m almost positive the managers are mostly acting!! You know, like pro wrestlers. Now I know a lot of people think wrestling is real, but there are a lot of people out there who claim Elvis sings to them at night. Live!! Folks, the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it. Anyway, even the wrestlers admit they’re faking it, at least some of them. Oh, I don’t doubt they get hurt. (Getting belted in the head by a chair would cause a little discomfort, don’t ya think?) It’s obvious they’re super tough. It’s just that they know who’s going to win ahead of time. I mean if someone stomped on your neck with all his weight, I think they’d have to peel your neck off the mat. But those guys get that done to them all the time and they don’t die. They always seem to keep on fighting.

In a word, wrestlers E–X–A–G–G–E–R–A–T–E everything. They exaggerate their moves, their pain, their anger, their meanness toward each other. If they did’t, how could they go to the same locker room after a brutal match and not kill each other back there?

The Crank is getting off topic again. Too much chocolate or ADHD, one or the other. Back to baseball managers and their E–X–A–G–G–E–R–A–T–I–O–N–S. How come it’s only baseball bosses who go nuts like that? I watch tons of sports. I never see a football coach throw a football at a referee’s or get up his face, spit flying out of this mouth. Or how about basketball coaches. They wear zillion dollar suits, at least in the pros, and act very professionally. If they say something nasty and the ref hears it, they get hit with a technical foul and the other team gets free throws. In other words, their team GETS HURT when they act up. NOT IN BASEBALL. Nothing happens to the team at all when the manager throws a hissy fit.

Warning alert: New Crankenfuss brainstorm. It probably all starts with the fact that baseball managers dress up in baseball uniforms. How stupid is that? Do basketball coaches dress in shorts and sneakers? Football coaches in helmets and pads? Gimme a break! The managers are already playing make-believe so they just take it all the way. Now I admit I could be wrong about this, amazing as that sounds. I’ll admit it when you show me another sport where the managers/coaches do the same type stuff as often as those baseball guys.

Until then Dr. Crankenfuss thinks there’s something very fishy about those whacked out managers. Maybe there should be some kind of acting award for those performances.

Just sayin’.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
The Doctor