end of grade tests | Freaky Dude Books

Post #137 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger –

Today, I’m kind of steamed, just like my picture at the left shows me. Hey, I know that’s not unusual, but it’s just that I actually like to learn stuff and sometimes that learning actually takes place at school. It really does. But not lately. Our math and English teachers keep giving us these practice tests for the EOG tests, (That’s End-of-Grade Tests, where they supposedly measure how much we’ve learned.) But we’re not learning anything from these practice tests except how to take the tests. Hey, I already know how to take the tests. Yeah, it might help some students. If they listened. But I don’t think they are.

Anyway, I put it all into a poem. I didn’t learn anything from the poem — me being the author and all — but maybe it’ll get my idea across better.

STOP MESSING WITH OUR TESTING
by Dr. Crankenfuss

It’s getting near that time of year
When schools try to measure our progress,
But the method they use just gives us the blues.
It’s not accurate; it’s really just dog mess.

What makes someone smart? What sets us apart?
They ought to give us some problems,
Then examine our thinking, be it amped or stinking,
And see if we’re able to solve them.

Instead they give us a multiple choice test,
They don’t even know if we’ve read it,
We can just have a fling, fill in anything,
And we’re sure to get partial credit.

What about assessing our creativity,
Or gauging our determination?
Spotting leadership ability,
Or skills in communication?

Schools know how important test results are,
How they affect our hopes and dreams,
So who do they put in charge of our future?
A bunch of grading machines.

These tests hurt kids; they get discouraged,
And then our schools can lose them.
If the tests are so great, why are we
The only country to use them?

We all want to learn, so please engage us,
Don’t just “teach to the test.”
If machines are to be our evaluators,
How can we achieve success?

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Post #133 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger –

It’s coming to that time of year when we’ll have to do all those multiple choice End-of-Grade tests. Not that I mind them that much since I usually do pretty well on them. But that doesn’t mean I have to think they’re any good for anything. In my opinion, they don’t show what you know. For most people they’re really a waste of time. Here’s why:

1. My teachers spend a bunch of time every year showing us how to “attack” the test. They call it “test-taking strategies.” Like being sure not to leave any questions out. By eliminating the worst answer or answers first so you have a better chance to get it right even if you have to guess a bit. Some say you should read a selection first. Others say you should look over the questions first so you’ll know what to be looking for. The trouble with all this is IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LEARNING ANYTHING EXCEPT HOW TO TAKE THE TEST! It doesn’t teach you any Reading, Math, or Science– just how to take a test. Is that really education?

2. Since there are four answers for each question, you don’t even have to try in order to get 1/4 of them right. Well, you DO have to fill in the circles. Even a trained chicken could get 1/4 of them right according to probability. (The chicken could be taught to cluck once for A, twice for B, and so on and then a human could mark the chicken’s answer sheet for her.) But a chicken could never get a problem like 54 x 5 if it was a fill-in-the-blank answer. That’s because guessing has almost a zero chance to work unless you’re doing multiple-choice questions. Why do the test-makers reward wild guessing? How often does that work for you in real life? With fill-in-the-blank answers, a student really has to know how to work the problem or how to comprehend the passage. Isn’t that what’s supposed to be tested?

3. I think they use multiple choice tests because they’re cheap. I mean they can be graded by a machine. That’s way cheaper than hiring people to grade the tests. And that’s what you need for grading essays or anything that isn’t “fill in the right circle” kind of questions. There’s a machine in our principal’s office where teachers can scan multiple choice test forms. A teacher can “grade” 25 tests in like 5 minutes or less. That’s a lot easier than looking through a student’s work on a math problem. Maybe she almost got it right and only made one little mistake. That’s way better than guessing. But a machine would never know that. And therefore neither will the teacher.

4. And machine graded tests can never measure how creative you are. Or how hard you’re trying. Or how many different ways you tried to solve the problem. Or whether you show any leadership or not. Or whether you can work in a team to get a job done. THEY ARE VERY LIMITED.

I guess that’s enough for now. Except to say that if multiple choice tests are so great, why don’t they use them all over the world? We have a few students from other countries that I know or have classes with and they say they’ve never had to take MC tests where they come from. Most of them have to write out their answers or even speak their answers out loud to a group of teachers. (Like on an essay question.) Now THAT would show a lot more of what you know.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Who’s very tired of huffin’ and puffin’
Over tests that prove practically nuthin’,
Dr. Crankenfuss