Tag Archives: global warming

Freak Speak

Global warming’s here; Better beware!/ Don’t believe me? Ask this polar bear!

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Post #164 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping middle school blogger–

It’s the day before Christmas and I know where Santa is right now. He’s looking through his closet for a short sleeve shirt and some comfortable shorts. You know what I mean if you live on the east coast. Here in North Carolina, it’s over 70 degrees today. And it’s been raining so much, they’re playing “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Seattle” on the radio.

And yeah, I know there are folks out there who think all this climate change or global warming or whatever you want to call it is a big deal over nothing, and who knows, maybe they’re right, but it seems to me that something strange is going on. I read that world temperatures were setting record highs last year and now we’re getting thunderstorms and tornadoes in the South close to New Year’s. Really strange!

So I was searching for winter pictures to make me feel a little better and I find this photo which put it all into sharp focus for me. It was in The Alaska Daily Journal or something like that and they… Well, just have a look!

Say it ain't so, po! My heart is breaking for ya, yo!
Say it ain’t so, po! My heart is breaking for ya, yo!

People, if this doesn’t prove there’s global warming, I guess you will never be convinced. All I know is, “Juneau’s the new Miami Beach!”

And what’s more this picture makes a strong argument if favor of the Second Amendment. Who would disagree that these guys in the picture have the right to bear arms?

Okay, you can stop groaning now.

Happy Holidays to everybody
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

CRANKENFUSS’S GOT A WARNING AND IT’S ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING

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Humor Post #106 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

Okay, it’s been maybe a couple weeks since I gave y’all one of my die-no-might poems. Many of you know — and the rest of the world should know — that I’m pretty decent when it comes to puttin’ together a poem, be it a rap or something a bit more regular. I have a hard time keeping them apart myself. I’ll let you judge what kind this one is. Just judge that it’s awesome, okay? And dudes, while you’re at it,
Go spread da word/ ‘Bout dis rare cranky bird/ He speaks da truth/ To all bangin’ youth./He knows where it’s at/Ain’t no doubt o’ that/ He soars da highest/ Cause he’s da flyest.

THE CURE FOR GLOBAL WARMING
by Dr. Crankenfuss

The Earth is heatin’ up
The temps make record highs
The ocean’s much too warm
That leads to rising tides

The tides rush into streets
Buildings wash away
Peeps build sandbag walls
The waves say, “Make my day!”

Beach peeps got lots o’ problems
They want the Gov to cure ’em
The Gov ain’t got the answers
I’m glad I live in Durham

Our altitude’s 400 feet
Plenty high enough, that’s true
But if things start acceleratin’
I’ll have an ocean view

No way I’m stickin’ around
I’m puttin’ my theory to the test
I’m askin’ my mom to look
For a condo on Everest

If she won’t go for that
There’s only one way to stay afloat
I’ll spend the next twenty years
Convertin’ our house to a boat

So that’s it for now, all your freaky dudes out there.
Here’s to rappin’ our way to da stars.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

My Cure for Global Warming (or Climate Change, or whatever u want to call it)

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Humor Post #97 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

Dr. Crankenfuss is worried. He was on the web last night — that was his first mistake — and he found this article. It’s all about how the earth is the hottest now since it’s been since the DAWN OF CIVILIZATION! That means it’s hotter now than it’s been for like 11,000 years! That’s older than all my teachers put together. Here’s the main graph that shows the OMG spike.

See that huge spike at the end? That's the last 100 years or so. (This graph was in the article linked to above at MSNBC and it was called WARMING FASTEST SINCE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION, STUDY SHOWS.)

This is happening right now, people! Okay, you say you’re not worried, that you’ll just keep snarfing down those chicken wings and watch March Madness. Well, Dr. Crankenfuss watches the news. And he has eyes and a brain. So here, in his usual poetic style, he’s going to tell you what he’s going to do save his butt, at least.

THE CURE FOR GLOBAL WARMING

The earth is heating up,
The temps make record highs,
The ocean’s much too warm,
That leads to rising tides.

The tides rush into streets,
Buildings wash away,
People build sand barriers,
The waves say, “Make my day!”

Beach people got big problems,
They want the Gov to cure ’em,
The Gov ain’t got the answers,
I’m glad I live in Durham.

Our altitude’s 400 feet,
Plenty high, that’s true.
But if things start accelerating,
I’ll have an ocean view.

No way I’m stickin’ around,
I’m putting’ my theory to the test,
I’m askin’ my mom to look
For a condo on Everest.

If she won’t go for that,
Only one way we’ll stay afloat,
I’ll spend the next twenty years
Converting our house to a boat.

See you on the high seas, matey!

From Your Dude with the Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss (soon to be Captain Crankenfuss)