Tag Archives: iPad

iPad and Kindle Workers Don’t Make Enough, But That’s Also True For a Lot of our Stuff

Humor Post #115 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

Whew, I’ve had a kind of rough time since I put out that BOOKS ARE EVIL post. See I was arguing that Kindles and iPads made more sense for kids than paper books. You can go back and read it if you want. Some people agreed with me, but some got kind of mad at me. I guess I need a thicker skin. Now how do I grow one of those and if I do, will I look more like an elephant?

That was supposed to be a joke. Pretty bad, huh? Okay, you don’t have to agree so loudly.

But I am willing to admit one big problem with our tablets that I didn’t know much about when I wrote that article. They all seem to be made in China or some country in Asia where workers make like, if they’re lucky, a dollar a day. That’s bad. And I checked out some of my books and they’re all printed in the USA. So I’m ready to say we should be willing to pay a bit more for tablets if they could be made here. But then I figured out something else. Most everything we buy that’s not food comes from Asia. And our food is mostly picked by workers from Mexico and Central America. And I’m not exaggerating. Look at my house. I mean we have a Samsung television and an Hitachi TV. Asia. Our refrigerator and washer/dryer are all LG. Asia.

Then I went through my clothes. Guess how many brands were made in the USA. Guess. No, I really mean Guess. My Guess shirt was practically the only thing I could find made in the USA. I have New Balance sneaks made in China, shirts made in Pakistan, Korea, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, India. And I just saw on the news tonight about a clothes factory in Bangladesh where they have girls as young as 12 working there and another building fell down a month or two ago nearby and over 1000 people died. Over 1000 and they were all making clothes!! Imagine if something like that happened here. I think it would take up quite a bit of news time, don’t you? And tonight they showed the labels of the clothes those people in Bangladesh were making. The labels said ASICs and Wrangler and WalMart. (I’m sure there were other brands at other factories, but that’s what they showed tonight.)

So I gotta say it. And I’ll say it in a poem. Natch.

TABLETS AND OTHER STUFF WE NEED AND LIKE A LOT
by Dr. Crankenfuss

I don’t understand it,
What can I say?
Almost nothing I own’s
Made in the US of A.

My shoes come from Vietnam or China,
Calvin Klein’s made in Hong Kong,
Almost the only thing I have not from the far East
Is a polyester shirt from Oman.

India, Korea, Pakistan,
Don’t matter if it’s for a woman or a man,
I don’t know what happened to all the US workers,
Must be they’re all frying fast food burgers.

So I guess to be fair I should give up my iPad,
Its workers are exploited and somehow that’s my bad,
I could read paper books printed here I suppose
But shouldn’t I also learn to live without clothes?

Just sayin’.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude (who’s still learning, ya know),
Dr. Crankenfuss
P.S. And thanks to everybody who gave me your ideas here or at LinkedIn, Facebook, and GoodReads. It’s cool to get mail from you.

“BOOKS ARE EVIL. LET’S BAN BOOKS!” — a follow-up reply to my critics

Humor Post #114 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

Oh, I just found out something in the last week. I kind of knew it already but now I’m sure about it. Here’s what I learned: IF YOU WANT TO GET ATTENTION, SAY SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL. What I’m talking about is my post — and BTW, it’s called a HUMOR POST and every one of my posts out of the last 90 or so has those two words right at the top — entitled “BOOKS ARE EVIL. THEY’RE KILLING US. LET’S BAN BOOKS!” It’s gotten some fan mail, but it’s also gotten some  me-not-like-you-very-much-at-all mail. (Daniel put it up at LinkedIn too.) Now I like the fan mail of course. And I gotta admit I’m hurt a bit by the other kind. I have feelings too, believe it or not. Now I know that I give off a pretty arrogant attitude on this blog. It’s on purpose. Hey, I call myself DR. CRANKENFUSS. Whaddya expect with a name like that? Look at my t-shirt. Look at that portrait that goes at the top of my posts. Hey, in real life I’m nicer looking than that. I don’t really have steam coming out of my ears. And I’m not nearly as bald as that guy is. Dr. Crankenfuss is my persona. And yes, I do know what a persona is. And I know what irony is too. Dr. C is exaggerized (that’s half exaggerated and half aggrandized).

I went back to my very first post at Freaky Dude Books and it says the squeaky wheel gets the grease and I’m going to be that squeaky wheel. I called myself a “cranky curmudgeon” and said I’m a know-it-all. That’s the way I act online. I already wrote posts about how in real life, I’m kind of shy — see Handshake Horror, for example — and that I don’t have a girlfriend. Ooh, that hurts to admit. But here on the web, I get to act like I want. I’m Dr. Crankenfuss.

But I also found out I’m getting the most response from that BOOKS ARE EVIL post. Ever since then, I’ve had one really complimentary post about this 91-year-old Sy Perlis and called him my hero, and just a few days ago, I had this very serious essay about bullying in schools. They both took me a long time. Guess how many responses I’ve gotten from them. Practically none. What good is it to write stuff if no one cares? Lots of people say they like hearing good news. Well, my Sy Perlis post was totally good news and my bullying post was not good news, because bullying isn’t good, but I did say for people to hang in there and things would get better. That’s very positive coming from Crankenfuss.

And Crankenfuss knows how to be ironic. On May 31, I wrote a post called WHAT’S WITH THE WAY WE USE FORKS AND KNIVES AT THE TABLE. IT’S CRA-A-A-Z-Z-Y! Now I know it’s not CRAZY! I was exaggerizing again.

So I’ll put this post up but I already have two more reasons why Kindles and iPads and Nooks are the way to go in the future instead of books, but I don’t want to get too off-topic here so come back in a few days for those.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

BOOKS ARE EVIL. THEY’RE KILLING US. LET’S BAN BOOKS!

Humor Post #110 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

Those of you who read me regularly — and I know there must be millions of you — know that I’m smart (like DUH!) but that I also don’t think kids should have books at school. Oh, sure, they contain knowledge and facts and all that stuff. But they also break your back and get messed up within a couple years and then kids are still assigned those filthy things (germ-ridden with boogers hidden) for years to come. Tablets, iPads, Kindles, any e-reader would make way more sense. But lots of people, mostly adults, still don’t get how uncool AND UNHEALTHY books are. Yo, all you adults: Books are yesterday’s news. Heck, they’ve hardly changed since the printing press was invented in the 1400s. That means for over 500 years, they’ve made like ZERO progress. They’re still built exactly the same: a cover with lots of pages of print inside.

Let’s think of all the other stuff that hasn’t changed in over 500 years. How about medicine? Any doctor out there still splitting people’s heads open with an ax to get rid of the demons that are giving them headaches? I didn’t think so.

How about transportation? “Attention, all passengers scheduled to leave on Flight 875 from New York to Los Angeles. You all need to report instead to the nearby stables for your new rides.”

How about communication? “Hey, I have to get a message to Miguel in Spain right away.” “Okay, Tom, I’ll get the boat ready for a nice little voyage. Shouldn’t take us over three or four months. That’s assuming we can catch the right currents, of course.”

So how come adults still think we’re supposed to do things the same way with reading that they did back before Columbus’s time?

And now I have a new reason to get rid of books. They’re killing us. Don’t believe me? Read this brill poem and I think you’ll be singing a different tune real soon.

WHY BOOKS ARE KILLING US
(A Message to All Adults, Especially Teachers and Parents)

by Dr. Crankenfuss

The need for books
Is gettin’ pretty small
Adults still love ’em
But they’re no good at all.

To make all that paper
It takes lots of trees.
It’s better to NOT kill nature.
Can’t we all agree?

To get books from the printers
To stores requires trucks.
Trucks run on oil,
Which really kind of sucks

‘Cause oil leads to pollution
Which fouls up all the air
If we keep reading books
My lungs ain’t got a prayer.

IPads don’t kill trees;
Kindles don’t foul air.
Let’s get rid of books
And treat kids like you care.

I believe that says it all.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr Crankenfuss