Humor Post #114 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

Oh, I just found out something in the last week. I kind of knew it already but now I’m sure about it. Here’s what I learned: IF YOU WANT TO GET ATTENTION, SAY SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL. What I’m talking about is my post — and BTW, it’s called a HUMOR POST and every one of my posts out of the last 90 or so has those two words right at the top — entitled “BOOKS ARE EVIL. THEY’RE KILLING US. LET’S BAN BOOKS!” It’s gotten some fan mail, but it’s also gotten some  me-not-like-you-very-much-at-all mail. (Daniel put it up at LinkedIn too.) Now I like the fan mail of course. And I gotta admit I’m hurt a bit by the other kind. I have feelings too, believe it or not. Now I know that I give off a pretty arrogant attitude on this blog. It’s on purpose. Hey, I call myself DR. CRANKENFUSS. Whaddya expect with a name like that? Look at my t-shirt. Look at that portrait that goes at the top of my posts. Hey, in real life I’m nicer looking than that. I don’t really have steam coming out of my ears. And I’m not nearly as bald as that guy is. Dr. Crankenfuss is my persona. And yes, I do know what a persona is. And I know what irony is too. Dr. C is exaggerized (that’s half exaggerated and half aggrandized).

I went back to my very first post at Freaky Dude Books and it says the squeaky wheel gets the grease and I’m going to be that squeaky wheel. I called myself a “cranky curmudgeon” and said I’m a know-it-all. That’s the way I act online. I already wrote posts about how in real life, I’m kind of shy — see Handshake Horror, for example — and that I don’t have a girlfriend. Ooh, that hurts to admit. But here on the web, I get to act like I want. I’m Dr. Crankenfuss.

But I also found out I’m getting the most response from that BOOKS ARE EVIL post. Ever since then, I’ve had one really complimentary post about this 91-year-old Sy Perlis and called him my hero, and just a few days ago, I had this very serious essay about bullying in schools. They both took me a long time. Guess how many responses I’ve gotten from them. Practically none. What good is it to write stuff if no one cares? Lots of people say they like hearing good news. Well, my Sy Perlis post was totally good news and my bullying post was not good news, because bullying isn’t good, but I did say for people to hang in there and things would get better. That’s very positive coming from Crankenfuss.

And Crankenfuss knows how to be ironic. On May 31, I wrote a post called WHAT’S WITH THE WAY WE USE FORKS AND KNIVES AT THE TABLE. IT’S CRA-A-A-Z-Z-Y! Now I know it’s not CRAZY! I was exaggerizing again.

So I’ll put this post up but I already have two more reasons why Kindles and iPads and Nooks are the way to go in the future instead of books, but I don’t want to get too off-topic here so come back in a few days for those.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss