Humor Post #93 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

Well, as I wrote about so brilliantly the last time, there’s a not-so-terrible blizzard “slamming the Northeast,” but there’s far worse news slamming the Middle East and maybe us in the near future. I mean, it’s REALLY BAD! And I’m not talking about that awful stuff in Syria that’s on the news every night. That’s truly horrible, but Crankenfuss isn’t here to get you too down. He’s here to entertain you with weird and wonderful horrible news.

“Huh?” you’re saying. Cool it, dude, and let me explain.

Now first off, let me say I’m not a big Twilight fan. Some girls I know are all dizzy in love with all the characters, but to me they’re kind of… uh… FEH (to borrow some Yiddish expression I learned that says a lot in only three letters). Not much to get me worked up, but you’d never know that from all the girls screaming and fainting at the red carpet openings. Guess it’s a girl thing.

Well, I might be more interested now that I find that this kind of stuff is REAL! I mean it. Check out this article from NBC. Read it all and come back.

You’re back already? Yeah, I see how you might have gotten bogged down after the good parts. But still this is creepy news. Drinking your own blood? Stabbing other people for theirs? If these guys are for real, that boogeyman I was always scared of at night when I was little might not have been just in my imagination. And aliens could definitely be watching us right now. All sorts of possibilities are possible.

On the good side though, that bad news I got about Santa Claus a few years back has a chance of being reversed. I still haven’t totally gotten over that even though I pretend I have.

See, it’s just like they say: When one door closes, another one opens. Whatever that means.

From your Now-I’m-picking-out-my-friends-more-carefully Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss