As many of you know, today (December 21, 2012) is the last day of our existence. The end of the world! Yep, that’s what a bunch of people have been yelling about since they heard about the Mayan calendar. Not that these people know squat about the Mayan calendar. Of course these same people — I use the term loosely — probably can’t tell you how to spell February, which is on our own calendar. They probably think the Mayan calendar was invented by Maya Rudolph from Saturday Night Live or somebody like that.
Anyway, what I’m saying is that they’re IDIOTS!! That’s with a capital exclamation mark! In fact anyone who predicts the end of the world with a specific date in mind is A IDIOT! (Grammar mistake intended.) Here’s how I know. The end of the world has been predicted so many times, it would be hard to count them. Guess what percentage of those predictions came true. That’s right — ZERO.
And do you think those people feel any shame at being stupid at predicting things? Naw, most of them just try to explain why they were off just by a bit and then they predict the next end of the world. How do they ever feel right about predicting anything again, including the date of their first decent idea, since they missed on the biggest bet of their lives?
So congratulations to all of you out there who try to figure out the exact date or year of the apocalypse! Dr. Crankenfuss has already figured out the exact day you became a knuckle-dragging poop-for-brains being. It was the day you were born.
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,