Humor Post #84 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

I was watching the news the other night — Hey, don’t laugh. That’s how I keep on my intellectual toes — and they were talking about flooding problems they were having in this place called Truckee, California. And I was thinking — again, hey don’t laugh! — what kind of name is Truckee? Is it like there were a lot of guys with trucks who lived near each other and they wanted to start a town so they named it Truckee? Does that mean there’s another place named for cars?

And then it hit me.

(That reminds me of a joke I have to tell you. I can’t take credit for it but it’s the kind of joke I could’ve made up if only I’d thought of it. So here it is. I kept wondering why the ball was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.)

Anyway, back to the topic. What was it? Oh yeah, a city named for cars.

I live in Durham, NC. About 20 miles away there’s a town — actually it’s almost as big as Durham, so really it’s a city — called Cary (pronounced like the girl’s name Carrie, you know, like that chick who went all postal when her classmates dumped pig blood on her and she was making knives zing through the air and everyone’s bodies and then her hand reached out of the grave and aw… just rent the thing, okay?). I never thought of it till now. Maybe when it started, it was named for cars. (It’s a pretty new city so that IS possible.) I mean, it’s a really well-off place. Nice and pretty. They don’t even have power poles and wires all over the place because they put them all underground. So I figure the average family there probably has three or four cars.

Ta dah!! Cary.

So now we have Truckee. We have Cary. What’s next — Vanny, Bussy, Hybridee, Hatchbackee, Trainee, Planey? Hey, there is a Plano, Texas, isn’t there?

Anyway, here’s what Dr. Crankenfuss is doing for the next few hours. Dr. Crankenfuss is gettin’ his butt over to GoDaddy and — if my Mom sees the genius of this idea — registering the names of every town he can think of that comes from a kind of transportation. Okay, I’m not going for Tricyclee, but there’s lots of possibilities. And when someone wants to start a new city with that idea, they’ll have to come to you-know-who so they can have a city website.

Wish me luck on convincing my mom? She’s not always so keen on my perfecto plans.

Anyone feel like moving to Hatchbackee? That’s my favorite so far.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss