Humor Post #112 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

How many times have you seen some little bitty old person driving a car, the kind where you can hardly see their head, and you made some mean comment about it? How many times have you thought that being over 40 was really old, not to mention 90?

90?? Why at that age, you’re probably thinking, it’s an adventure to see if someone can sit on a toilet without crashing. Well, I admit to having such thoughts. Negative thoughts are never far from the head of Dr. Crankenfuss. But ol’ Dr. C sure learned something today. He read about this guy in Arizona named Sy Perlis, who bench pressed 187 pounds. That’s very good. I don’t think I could bench press 40 or 50. But here’s the kicker: Sy Perlis is 91 years old. 91?? I know a few kids who can’t even count that high.

So I learned my lesson. Not all people are washed up because they’re old. Some old people can do a lot of cool things. (And Daniel, don’t get all pleased with yourself ’cause you think I’m talking about you. You’re old, but you can’t do what Sy Perlis can.)

Anyway, I got inspired to write this poem about Sy. He deserves all the praise he gets. He certainly changed the way I think. (I’ll put a link to the original article at the bottom of my poem.)

DON’T YOU FOOL WITH THIS OLD DUDE
OR YOU’LL GET SPIT OUT (AFTER BEING CHEWED)
by Dr. Crankenfuss

There’s this man, aged 94,
He lives in the desert.
He lifts up such heavy loads
They hardly can be measured.

Okay, I lie a little bit
But he bench pressed one eighty!
Any way you look at it
That’s still pretty weighty.

Me, I’m a young smart aleck
But muscles? I ain’t got many.
How much could I bench press?
In ounces? Maybe twenty.

Middle school can be tricky,
Staying safe can be hard,
So I’m writing this dude to ask him
If he’ll be my bodyguard.

I can see it all so nice and clear:
Some bully will challenge me
And my wing man, Sy, with one punch
Will send him to eternity.

Being old’s no picnic,
Some kids will make fun of you.
The jokes can be pretty thoughtless,
I’m sure I’ve told one or two…
                                          (at the least!)

But this praise comes from a dude
Who can barely bench press zero,
Sy Perlis of Arizona,
You’re definitely my hero!

Click here to read the original article from NBC Sports about Sy Perlis.

From Your Dude with the Corrected ‘Tude (where it comes to old people),
Dr. Crankenfuss

P.S. And don’t forget to always check the Freaky Dude Books Facebook Page. Daniel mentions my posts there, but there will be other stuff about his books and book giveaways and more comments by him about all kinds of things.