Humor Post #48 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

Do you believe aliens from outer space have visited Earth? I don’t know what to think about it. Lots of people say they have. And it’s pretty hard to believe that with all the billions of planets that are probably out there that not one other planet has any life on it. Of course, that life may not look a whole lot like ours. For instance there could be a world that contains millions of little dudes who look like spatulas and turkey basters. Or they could exist in two or three dimensions at once and be invisible. I’m talking about the ones who’d be capable of flying a space ship to Earth, of course, not the ones who might still resemble slimy little amoebas and have microscopic brains. (And don’t you go say that last description reminds you of me. I’ll have you know I look way better than a slimy amoeba. At least 20% better.)

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that I was watching a tv show Saturday afternoon and this guy was talking about “ancient astronauts” who visited Earth from other planets. And they taught people how to build the Sphinx and the pyramids. One place the show kept pointing out were these hundreds of huge stones in France called the Carnac stones that sit in perfect lines and formations like triangles that ancient peoples wouldn’t know about. And there couldn’t be any other explanation for them except space men visiting Earth.

It was all really kind of interesting. But Crankenfuss believes nothing of what he hears and very little of what he sees without real proof. So I started thinking. Yeah, those rocks are pretty cool. But why would space guys help people build those? Was that all they had? C’mon!! They travel billions of miles and close to the speed of light in these amazing spaceships that must have had equipment that would floor any scientist nowadays and what do the aliens show these ancient French dudes. How to build a stone triangle, that’s what! “Ooooh, that’ll show ’em how advanced we are,” those aliens were thinking. Dudes, get a clue! Why not a laser machine or at least a old dune buggie? Wouldn’t a telephone have been a pretty cool thing to introduce. Or considering that they were in France, the spacemen could have whipped up a delicious batch of Chocolate Mousse? After all, that’s a dessert that obviously didn’t exist back then and those ancient French knuckle draggers would have eaten that up. Literally.

A bunch of stones in a line?? That’s pitiful, space dudes!

So maybe aliens have been here to scope us out but until I see something more impressive that a big stone statue or a bunch of lined up rocks, call me skeptical.

And if you have any better proof we’ve been a tourist destination for centuries from other-worldly worlds, I’d love to hear your evidence.

From your Dude with the ‘Tude,
The Show-Me Guy Who’s not even from Missouri,
Dr. Crankenfuss