Humor Post #83 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

Anyone who regularly reads this blog knows that Dr. Crankenfuss gets annoyed at a lot of things. But that doesn’t mean he’s wrong, does it? Here’s just three things I heard today that rub me the wrong way. (Which makes me think, What’s the right way to rub me? How about a nice massage by a beauticious babe? The wrong way? Maybe with 20 grit sandpaper or worse, with razors.

Anyway, back to other things we say that should be examined:

1. “It remains to be seen whether. . . “ I hear this on TV when supposedly smart people are talking about the future. Hello, supposedly smart person! Everything in the future remains to be seen! How does this phrase add to anything?

2. “That’s like comparing apples to oranges.” People say this when they mean that one thing is NOT like another and therefore you can’t consider them similar. Once again, HELLO! Apples and oranges are way more similar than they are different.They’re practically the same! They’re both fruits, they both are good for you, they both have seeds, they both show up in my lunch fairly regularly if my mom packs it, and neither one of them makes very good toilet paper even in an emergency. How about comparing apples to Uranus? Not much similar about them. Okay, they’re both round. And yes, the pun was intended. Okay then, here’s a better one: That’s like comparing apples to algebra. You like that better?

3. My mom looked out the window today and said, “What a downpour!” Of course, her wonderful son couldn’t let that go by without acting like the wise guy he is. “As opposed to what?” I said, “An up pour.” Ooh, I thought that was pretty good. She didn’t. That’s why I’m up here in my room writing this instead of watching football on TV.

Have a great rest of the weekend. I’m just trying to figure out how to get any kind of weekend now.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Holed up in his Man Cave,
Dr. Crankenfuss