Humor Post #59 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –
It’s not every day I get to be a part of history. Well, actually it’s not any day I get to do that. But today is different. Today is the day Daniel has asked me to introduce MOOSE HOCKEY to the world. And I’m proud to do it. Check it out by clicking on the MOOSE HOCKEY page of our site. (It’s just above here on the menu buttons.)
Why do I like Moose Hockey? Ah, let me enumerate the ways. (Yes, I spent time coming up with a new word to honor this occasion.)
1. It’s fun.
2. It’s cool.
3. It’s about moose.
4. Playing the game helps a certain moose to achieve greatness and that’s a very good deed you’re doing to help him.
5. The game is kind of addictive. Good graphics, funny sound effects, and hey, it stars a moose.
6. It’s not easy to get a high score. One time I actually got a 1! I lasted like one second. But that’s because I was distracted and hit the space bar without even looking at what I was doing. I didn’t get fooled like that again!
7. There’s a secret to getting a super high score, however. I discovered it by accident and earned a ginormous number for Malcolm. But that was only once. I couldn’t get the thing to do it again.
The game was thought up by Daniel and he did the graphics and the sound effects. But he couldn’t have gotten anywhere without Trevor, who coded the whole thing. So thanks to them for helping me lose over an hour of my day (so far).
So go play a game or two. If you like it, please spread the word. Where else you gonna get the chance to play moose hockey and be a moose hockey hero? C’mon, tell me.
I didn’t think so.
from your Dude who happens to be in a moose mood,
Dr. Crankenfuss
P.S. Note: Since the game is in Flash, you can’t play it on an IPhone or IPad. And we’re trying to figure out how we can get it to work on phones. But it will work on any computer. And that’s probably where you are right now. So what’s holding you back?
Humor Post #58 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –
Yesterday I was in the car attached to my IPod as usual when I somehow heard this news on the radio that made me sit up straight. (Not the easiest thing to do in our car.) This woman was saying there was a painting on sale in New York for around $80 million!! Yeah, you read that right (assuming you can read, of course). 80 million GW’s. For one painting. Man, I had to look that up when I got home. It’s called “The Scream” and it’s by this guy Edvard Munch from Norway or somewhere like that. Turns out I’ve seen it before on posters and in cartoons. Here it is:
The Scream by Edward Munch
Yeah, it’s not exactly a publicity shot of Selena Gomez, is it? Looks like the guy — or is it a girl? Hard to tell. — just got a wedgie in front of the whole school. I have to admit the colors are pretty cool. It’s supposed to represent the fear and anxiety people have. At least that’s what I can figure out from what I read. Apparently Munch was on this bridge somewhere and the sky turned red and he felt “the great scream of nature.” So this is what he came up with. Man, that dweeb could have used a psychiatrist (or 20). You know, like he needed a checkup from the neck up.
And dude, you wanna feel a little less pain? Start with the hair. Like it’s not there. Rogaine time, my man!
But from what I can see, Munch also could have used some art lessons. Yeah, the thing’s all primal and stuff with those bold colors, but so are Little Jojo’s crayon pictures. (He’s a little guy I know who I try to educate about the world sometimes.) And he’s like six years old. Why in the world is this thing worth $80 million? And it turns out there are four others just like it. Dude, couldn’t you think of anything new?
Now you might be thinking it’s great that the thing is selling for $80 million, at least for old Eddie. With that kind of attitude, maybe he could use the money to take a nice, relaxing vacation somewhere. Whoa, wait up a sec. Eddie ain’t with us anymore. He died like maybe 70 years ago. Probably gave this painting to a niece because he couldn’t afford a big box of chocolates at the time. (And of course he already had four other copies of it.) She, of course, looked at it, said, “Oh, barf!” to herself, and stuck it in a closet somewhere. I mean, this thing on your wall could give you nightmares. So there it probably sat for years and then it got put in the attic and who knows, someone probably found it and put it on a table at a yard sale and was happy to get $3 for it. And now some unbelievably lucky fart is going to score 80 million cool ones.
I got a few weird relatives, just like everyone else. Why didn’t one of them give me a painting like that? But even if they did, would I have kept it for over 100 years till it was worth more than Beyonce’s wardrobe? Probably not.
But anyway, I looked at the painting some more and the more I looked at it, the more it reminded me of a scene from one of my favorite movies. Here it is:
Macaulay Culkin in HOME ALONE (from 20th Century Fox)
See what I mean? For those of you who live on the moon, that’s Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone, one of the funniest movies going. That’s probably how Edward Munch looked when he was a kid.
Now with a little computer creativity thanks to Fireworks, let’s see if I can do something with this photo. Here’s the Dr. Crankenfuss version called: Making The Scream Speak to Modern Audiences
The Scream (the Dr. Crankenfuss version) (Thanks to Fox for the photo.)
Okay, okay, maybe I should have taken some more time. I’m still trying to figure out this layer stuff and transparencies, but I don’t have a whole lot of patience, you know. But certainly this Crankenfuss masterpiece should be worth at least 10 million, don’t you think? Excuse me while I Google “Awesome Art Agents” in my area. Maybe Angie’s List will have a section on it. Hey, I’m even willing to share some of it with Culkin and Fox for using their photo as my model.
Humor Post #59 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –
