March | 2015 | Freaky Dude Books

Post #156 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

All of you know about the National Spelling Bee. You know, where dorky kids who are way up there in the brains department spell words you’ve never even heard of, much less know how to spell. Over and over. Kind of scary smart, but it still makes you sick. Well, Dr. Crankenfuss is here to tell you that being a great speller ain’t so great after all. Take this challenge and you’ll see why “Speliing Duzn’t Mattr.”

So here’s the test. And it’s one that will make you feel good about yourself. Get out a stopwatch or some timing device and see how fast you can read the next paragraph — which I’ve put in CAPITAL BLUE LETTERS — as fast as you can. When you first see it, you’ll think it’s really hard. BUT IT WON’T BE. After you’re done, post your time. You’ll see how right I am in my title.

IH YAM HIER TWO TEL U AH TROOTH YU PRBELBY HAF KNOT THUOGT UV BEEFOR. SPELING IZ NUT TAHT INPERTANT. YESC, EVRIBUDY TELZ U ET IZ — YUR TEECHARS, YUR PERANTS, EVIN U PRALBLY BELEEV ET. BT YU KAN REED THEZ PRTTY FST EVUN THO EVRY WURD IZ RONG. OW EZ THEZ POSBL? BEKUZ YUR BRANE WURKS BETR THN U THOGHT.

So how long did it take you? An hour?? Dude, that is NOT GOOD! Now c’mon, be honest, you had to do better than that. Anyway, next time someone gets after you for your bad spelling (like I do with people sometimes), tell those people like me, “Lay off, Bobo. You can understand this just fine.” It might just shut us up.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Who thinks kids should never fail
Just because they can’t spell,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Post #155 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

Oh, Dr. Crankenfuss may only be in middle school, but when he speaks, scientists listen. You don’t believe me? Well, check out my blog post from February 20. In there I carefully and wisely analyzed the chances for people to get to Mars by 2024 on the Mars One mission that 200,000 people signed up for. (But only 24 will go in the end. THEIR END!) Near the end of the post I said, “But I don’t really think this thing will ever take off. It just kind of sounds too crazy to be real. Or even if it IS real, it still sounds too crazy.”

So yesterday (March 3) I find this article where Neil deGrasse Tyson, a super-famous astronomer, who used to be on Cosmos and now does StarTalkTV for National Geographic (which sounds good though I haven’t seen it yet) and other scientists tell how wacky the plans for Mars One are. Now most of their arguments are about the scientific part of the mission, but they definitely used one or two of my ideas. (They didn’t, however, bring up the “Attack of the Alien Zombies” danger I was brilliant enough to ~~invent~~ realize.)

What matters though is that I wrote my post around two weeks ago and NOW the scientific community is coming around to my side. There’s little doubt that at least some of them got a whiff of a certain cranky curmudgeon’s blog that always speaks the truth, whether people want to hear it or not. So say what you will, THE DOCTOR IS VALIDATED. I bet some of those scientists might end up being big fans of my site. And the next thing you know, I’ll have my own show on the National Geographic Channel. Maybe something like “Crankenfuss Gets Creative.” That would give me lots of room to maneuver, you see.

Ah, it feels good to be right. Of course that’s not a new feeling for me. It still feels good though.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss