Freak Speak

Hey, you thought 6th grade math was hard? Try these 4th grade problems.

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Humor Post #60 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

Way back on March 14, I gave you some sixth grade algebra problems that our teacher was giving us to prepare for the EOGs (those standardized End-of-Grade Tests). These tests — They’re next week! Y-a-a-a-a-h! — are really important because they supposedly let the world know how smart we are, how good our teachers are, and how good our schools are. Well, maybe they tell you that stuff and maybe they don’t. I’d just like some adults, mainly the ones who make us take these things, to subject their brains to the same tests. You know, let them do the sweating for once. I don’t think the results would be very pretty. Kind of like a dog’s behind, if you know what I mean.

Now I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know how bad it really was till yesterday. See, I got sources deep inside the school system and they’ve been feeding me some valuable inside info. Actually they’re just a couple kids down the street who are in the fourth grade at a school near us. But they showed me the kind of stuff they have to do in class to get ready for their EOGs. As the TV Batman would say, “Holy hippopotamuses!” And I would say, “I feel for you, little dudes. These problems are harder than my head!” And baby, that is H-A-R-D! These stupid problems were ridiculous! How can anybody expect fourth graders to do these things? It’s like they think we’re in college or something!

Think I’m whining too much? That I’m being too much of a Crankenfuss?

Well then, you try ’em, wise guy! And remember, these things are meant for FOURTH GRADERS! I’m just giving you four little bitty questions. There were 12 on this homework sheet! Get ready for a lickin’ that’ll keep on stickin’, folks.

FOURTH GRADE EOG PRACTICE TEST QUESTIONS

1. Darius and Charlie are saving quarters. Darius saves 7 quarters for every 3 that Charlie saves. How many quarters will Charlie have saved when Darius has saved up 42 quarters?
a. 45
b. 21
c. 18
d. 35

2. Using these three pieces of information, which of the four answers is true?
Information Piece #1: R + R = K + R + K
Information Piece #2: R + K = G + G
Information Piece #3: R = 20
a. R < G b. R > K
c. K > G
d. G > R

3. What is the value of the expression 6 X 8 + 12 ÷ 2?
a. 30
b. 54
c. 60
d. 84

4. Ms. Jones wrote this expression on the white board: 27 – 5 X 4 + 6 =
Which operation should a person do first to find the value of the expression?
a. 27 – 5
b. 5 X 4
c. 4 + 6
d. 27 + 6

Had enough yet? As they like to say at Staples, “THAT WAS EASY!”

Click here to see how you did. But you might want to take an aspirin first. And let other people try these questions out. Maybe they’ll take some pity on us poor students and get teachers to give us some work that’s a teeny bit easier.

From the Dude who’s watchin’ out for all the kids out there,
Dr. Crankenfuss

40 thoughts on “Hey, you thought 6th grade math was hard? Try these 4th grade problems.”

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    i need help!
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    Reply

    1. Sorry it took me so long to see your message. I’m also sorry that I’m not that good at math either. That’s why these are up here.

      Reply

          2. Dude, I am impressed. I mean it. No matter what they, lots of people would miss at least one of these. U gave me a great idea. I’ll look up some more stuff I think could fool some people and put out a challenge. But this time I’ll hold back the answers for two or three days. And don’t pay attention if this post says it’s from Daniel. I may have signed in with his password. So thanks from Dr. C. So check back on my blog page. I promise it’ll be up by Wednesday.

          4. That’s good. Most people miss that one ’cause they don’t think before they answer. Kind of like me sometimes.

    1. Hey, good for you. Now, I got three questions:
      1) What grade are you in?
      2) How much help did you get from anybody else?
      3) Have you tried these on anybody else you know, just to compare? I mean, you could be a very sharp dude. When I showed these to a few adults, one or two had no problem, and another couple got kind of mad at me or made some excuse thatthey were too busy. (That was AFTER they looked at the questions.)

      Reply

        1. Yes, there were, JustMe. Two lines under #4 it has a link where it says “Click here.” The “here” is in purple. How’d you do?

          Reply

    1. Well, I thought they were pretty tough. Maybe you DO have a good teacher. But maybe it’s just as true you have a good brain! Congrats, bro!

      Reply

        1. Very sorry about the mixup. My bad. I couldn’t tell whether you were a boy or girl from your handwriting. Ha,ha, that’s supposed to be a joke. Okay, I admit it’s pitiful. Anyway, from what I heard, New York has some of the hardest state tests in the U.S. And if the tests are hard, that means the students must be good so they can pass them. Good luck on those tests, but it seems like you won’t need it.

          Reply

    1. To Anon (Dec 31, 2015)
      Dude, Thanks for writing back. Let’s see — I think you’re partly right but I was partly right too. But I was also wrong. Huh? Okay, I’ll explain. Here’s what I wrote:
      “Okay, here’s a good 4th grade question. Which month has 29 days?
      from Ol’ Dr. Crankenfuss”

      I was thinking all the months had 29 days because at least 11 of them always have 29 days, since they have 30 or 31. So that means of course they have 29. I mean, if I have $30 in my pocket with some ones in there, I obviously can pay someone $29, so that means I have $29 (plus one or two more). But you pointed out the thing about February, which 3/4 of the time only has 28 days, but in a leap year has 29 days. So I should have said, “How many months have 27 days?” and then the answer would be “All of them.”

      Well, now I got myself confused. Hope that makes some sense. But I don’t get where first you say, none of them do and then you say all of them do (in a leap year). You’re totally right with that last part!

      Anyhow, thanks for looking at my page and if you like more elaborate puzzles and mind games, take a look at my books — Dr. Crankenfuss’s Humor Books for Guys. Look at the free preview you can read at Amazon and let me know what you think.

      And Happy New Year to you!

      Reply

    1. That is truly amazing. It’s five years later and I STILL have trouble with these. You did these in 5 minutes?? It took me at least 10 and I wasn’t even sure after that. And I’m way older than you, I’m sure. All I can say is you’re going to do great in math (or maybe computers too). You’ll probably be the guy who invents the robot who takes my place.

      Reply

    1. Thanks for taking this test. I’ll try to help because I just went through this again and I think I got it.
      ->Information Piece #1: R + R = K + R + K
      So now we know 2 K’s must equal an R. Or, that R is twice as much as K. So K is half as much as R.
      Got that?
      ->Information Piece #2: R + K = G + G
      So now we know that an R is like a whole and a K is half of that, so R+K is like 1 1/2 R’s. So if G+G = 1 1/2 R’s, G must be worth 3/4 of an R.
      I hope this is still working for you.
      ->Information Piece #3: R = 20
      So if R-20, that means K is 10 because it’s half of R. And G=15 because that’s 3/4 of R.
      SO… the only right answer is b!! (But you have to be sure not to get the “greater than” and “lesser than” symbols mixed up.

      I hope that helped. Whew, I need to rest. I think I have a brain ache!

      Reply

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