Humor Post #108 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

I got quite a chortle the other night when I was watching ESPN’s NBA playoff coverage. See, there was this game between the Miami Heat and the Chicago Bulls a few nights before. They were playing in Miami and the Bulls weren’t doing so hot. Actually they were getting killed by the Heat and a few of their guys got technicals and thrown out of the game. Joakim Noah, their center, was one of them. As he was leaving the court after getting the old heave-ho, this fruitcake ‘roid-raged dyed-blond lady fan got in his grill and gave him the middle finger. They showed it a bunch of times on TV.

That’s not what made me laugh. No, what’s so funny is that now TV shows are putting the photo on air, but they’re blurring out the middle finger of that lady. It’s like they’re showing someone’s face who needs their identity protected or a part of the body that’s usually covered up by a bra or underpants.

This is hilarious, people! It’s not like we don’t know what’s under that blur. It’s her finger! Woooh, pretty dirty! Hey, I know what a finger looks like. And it’s not like it’s a nasty part of the body either. I could see that logic if she’d thrown her breast into Noah’s face. (Oh, how I wish that was the case.) Now she might want that covered up. But I don’t think she’s all that embarrassed by the appearance of her finger. (If you ask me, it’s her face that should be blurred out. Just look up the picture and see if you don’t agree.)

I guess the next move will be if some guy is yelling out some blankety-blank comment at a player and a photographer takes a still shot of him shouting, on TV they’ll show him with his mouth or his head blurred out. After all, we don’t want little children seeing his tongue in the process of making that sound, do we?

Anyway, here’s my idea. If the middle finger needs to be blurred, shouldn’t there be a new piece of clothing sold to cover it up at all times. After all, it must be a no-no part of our body if they can’t show it on TV. We could call a “third finger thing.” Or “third finger thong.” Or how about a “finger flap”? If you have any other ideas for names, let me know. But be sure to give me a cut of the profits if you start selling these things. I’m sure everyone will be lining up to buy them. I mean, we don’t want our privates to show, do we?

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss