Tag Archives: Darwin Awards

Freak Speak

I’m Going to Set Up My Own Demolition Derby (or NASCAR event) in Durham

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Humor Post #116 from The World’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –

Well, it’s time for a change. Instead of hearing Crankenfuss rant about what’s wrong with things, today I’m going to show you (IN A VERY COOL VIDEO) something right. Right in the middle of Durham, NC, that is — that’s where I live. See there’s this railroad bridge that goes over a road. There are all kinds of signs and warnings leading up to the bridge. Why? Because the bridge is 11 feet 8 inches high. That’s kind of low for a bridge clearance. And lots of truck and rec vehicle owners don’t seem to know how tall the things they’re driving are. So BOOM, CRASH, SLASH, BANG!! about once a month a roof of one of these things get ripped off by the bridge. And here’s the video to prove it. It’s a mashup of a whole bunch of stuff from 11foot8.com, a website of Jurgen Henn, who set up two cameras to record people’s dumbicity.

CLICK HERE TO SEE DUMB DRIVERS GET WHAT THEY DESERVE.
WARNING: IT’S FUNNY AND GRUESOME AT THE SAME TIME.

How cool is that? It’s like the Darwin Awards for drivers. Hey, it’s not like drivers aren’t warned. There are signs and lights that start flashing if you vehicle is too tall. That doesn’t stop Mr. or Ms. Chucklehead though, does it?

“Why don’t they fix it?” you ask. Because it would cost MILLIONS of dollars and no one wants to pay it, that’s why. (You can read lots more details at 11foot8.com.)

Anyway, I’m thinking I could rent some space in front of this bridge. Set up some bleachers, ya know. Charge maybe $10 a head for people to sit there, sell them some hot dogs, ice cream, lemonade (hot chocolate in the winter) while they wait for the next big bang. I mean Durham doesn’t have NASCAR or a Demolition Derby, but this could be almost as good.

What do you think?

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude (and the eye for making a bit of quick cash),
Dr. Crankenfuss

P.S. Any investors out there?

Freak Speak

Man dies from eating cockroaches? That’s just like Daniel’s Freaky Dude Book! Really!

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Humor Post #79 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

This is a sad story I’m about to tell: A man ate too many cockroaches and worms and he died. It’s true, I swear. You can read about it right here. It happened in the last day or two. According to the story, those who met this guy considered him to be “the life of the party.” Life of the party? What kind of party would that be? Just the kind of party you ladies out there would like to go to, no?

Anyway, I guess it’s sad and all that this dude died, but how many days could he have had left on this Earth with an attitude like that? I mean, can anyone honestly say, “Oh, it’s so sad he died. He had so much to live for.”? Like what — the gator wrestling contest he had lined up for next week?

But what’s really ironic is that Daniel’s first book for Freaky Dude Books — that would be Daniel Berenson’s STORIES GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SICK — has as its first story the adventure of a guy who has to eat a two-inch cockroach. Live! Does he end up like the guy in the article above? Well, you can actually find out since Apple published the whole story at the iBookstore if you look up that title there. Amazon was a bit “cheaper” cause they only give you about 2/3 of the story for free. But if you want to see how life imitates art, you can check out the book at the iBookstore or at Amazon by clicking here.

In the meantime, you might want to follow one of Dr. Crankenfuss’s main pieces of advice: Don’t eat anything that will kill you.

As always, just trying to help.
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

P.S. There’s this site about people who do dumb things like this. It’s called The Darwin Awards. OMG!! I just checked it out again to be sure I had the right address and just watched this idiot make himself fall down an elevator shaft. He just missed getting on the elevator and the doors closed too soon. He rams his wheelchair into the doors a couple times, busts through, and falls to his death. Sick, sick, sick. That’s me I’m talking about. I feel like I just ate a cockroach.