middle school humor | Freaky Dude Books

Humor Post #87from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

Oh yes, the future is here now. Can’t wait to get my Google Glass. I’ve written about it before but here’s a video (from Google) that shows how it’ll work:

See it’ll do everything a smart phone does, but it’ll be smarter cause you don’t have to keep anything in your pocket and you won’t have to look down all the time to check out, for example, how many people have unfriended you on Facebook today.

And yeah, they do look a little dorky, I guess, but by the time they get big, dorky will definitely be where it’s at. And just like eyeglasses led to contacts, maybe Google Glass will lead to Googletacts (thought Googletax looks cooler in print, doncha think?)

It’s too bad I probably won’t be able to afford these things for awhile. I’m having a hard srounging up burger money lately. But in tech, everything gets cheaper every year so maybe by the time I’m 18 or so, these will be like everywhere.

Yeah, I know it’s unusual to see Crankenfuss positive about something. But it’s hard not to get all wound up about this. And it’s definitely more fun than doing homework. Which I keep putting off. Ye-c-c-h-h!

Till later.

Your Dude with the’Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Humor Post #80 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

I’ve discovered something really cool. Well, I didn’t discover it exactly. My mom showed me an article and it got me all happy and excited about the future. See, times are bad in general. There’s war somewhere, people are starving somewhere — I’m pretty sure of it — and some guy is eating someone else’s face, probably in Miami. And to make everything worse, the Hostess Company, maker of Twinkies, everyone’s favorite health food snack, is going belly up. What you see below is what was on the Today Show just a few days ago.

TODAY | Aired on November 19, 2012
Twinkie-maker heads to bankruptcy hearing—
Hostess, maker of the iconic Twinkie cake, will have a hearing before a bankruptcy judge on Monday to begin the work of shutting down and selling off its assets. Meanwhile, many loyal customers are rushing to snatch up what may be the last of its products. NBC’s Mara Schiavocampo reports.

Woe to the world! What is everyone going to do when they get hungry? I mean, there’s hardly any other sweet snacks out there to choose from. Without Twinkies, I think life might lose its meaning.

Anyway, that’s what I was thinking till my mom told me about Google Glass. It’ll be out within two years and I can’t wait. Well, maybe I can. What choice do I have? But to have a whole computer sitting on your head has to be like the slamtastickest thing to come around in a while. No, it doesn’t look that stupid. Check out the link below.

http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/13/google-glass-and-the-future-of-technology/

See, you wear it like a super-thin pair of clear sunglasses. Actually, it’s more like a hair band pulled over your eyebrows, but it will have a phone, a teeny screen that somehow looks like a big one to your eyes, voice recognition, kind of a Siri thing happening, access to the internet, and make up that will make you irresistible to anyone you’re interested in. Well, maybe I made that last part up, but anything’s possible with this thing. I couldn’t understand half the article, but I did figure out this could be the greatest invention since video games. You wear this thing in class and every answer in the world is at your eye tips. I could probably get my doctor to say I have to wear them because of my ADD or something and the teacher would have to let me use them. Can you say, “playing video games during class”? YES!!

So that’s my GOOD NEWS FOR THE DAY! (I put that in capitals cause I’m kinda known for being a downer so this is a big change. At least for today.)

So keep on the lookout for Google Glass and stock up on those Twinkies.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss