Tag Archives: Dr. Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

A Simple Spanish Vocabulary Test! Yeah, right!!

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Post #158 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

So here’a a challenge you should be able to meet. I take Spanish and let me tell you, it can get HARD!! I mean, I don’t know how Mexicans and Spanish people (and all the people in all those Latino countries) even learn it. They must be geniuses! There are all these rules and stuff and they usually don’t say anything the way we do.

BUT, there are a bunch of Spanish words that DO sound almost like they do in English. Those are the ones our teacher — Señorita Mills — taught us first. I think she was trying to get us all confident like Spanish was going to be cinchy, ya’ know. Then she wiped us out with the other 100,00 words or so. (Well, not all at once. We still about 99,800 to go.)

Here’s what I’m talking about:
In Spanish they have a word superior. It’s pronounced (kind of) soo-peh-ree-OR. And it means — get ready for this — superior in English.
Hey, how easy is that??
So here’s a few more. (I’ll always give the Spanish word first.)
absurdo means absurd.
barbero means barber.
cámera means camera.
fabuloso means fabulous.
famoso means famous.

So, are all you dudes out there ready for a simple Spanish vocabulary test? I’ll give you the Spanish word and you pick the right answer. But I’ve put in a few tricky ones so don’t go thinking all of these are pieces of cake, okay? (And when you’re through, go to the bottom of the post to see how you did? I DON’T think most of you will get a 100. But some of you might. If you do, you’re way smarter than I was.)


A SIMPLE SPANISH VOCABULARY TEST

Directions: Look at the Spanish word AT THE LEFT. Pick the word you think it means in English — A, B, C, or D. If you’re really honest, you might write down your answers, so you can’t pretend you never gave that answer. (You know what I’m talking about!) The real answers are at the very bottom. If you feel like it, write me and tell me how you did.)

1. natural      a) nasty      b) needy      c) natural      d) knot

2. secreto      a) secret      b) sexy      c) scrub      d) see

3. desnudo      a) decent      b) dangerous      c) nuthead      d) naked

4. gracioso      a) thank you      b) gracious      c) funny      d) grody

5. embarazada      a) pregnant      b) embarrassed      c) barricade      d) foolish

6. arena      a) sand      b) stadium      c)rain      d) elephant

7. bombero      a) bony      b) a terrorist      c) a fireman      d) a swimmer

8. éxito      a) exist      b) exit      c) a beanbag      d) success

9. correcto      a) corny      b) correct      c) corridor      d) technical

10. la ropa      a) to rap      b) clothing      c) the rope      d) the champion

Now do you want to see how you did? To see how much talent you really have in Spanish? Well, click here to go to the Answer Page.

Then you can come back and see why you did so wonderfully (or not).

And thanks for taking my Spanish Quiz. It’s a lot easier giving them than taking them!

See you soon,
but not in my Spanish class
’cause I’m always hiding in the last row,
Your Dude con la actitud,
El Doctor Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

Speliing Duzn’t Mattr

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Post #156 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

All of you know about the National Spelling Bee. You know, where dorky kids who are way up there in the brains department spell words you’ve never even heard of, much less know how to spell. Over and over. Kind of scary smart, but it still makes you sick. Well, Dr. Crankenfuss is here to tell you that being a great speller ain’t so great after all. Take this challenge and you’ll see why “Speliing Duzn’t Mattr.”

So here’s the test. And it’s one that will make you feel good about yourself. Get out a stopwatch or some timing device and see how fast you can read the next paragraph — which I’ve put in CAPITAL BLUE LETTERS — as fast as you can. When you first see it, you’ll think it’s really hard. BUT IT WON’T BE. After you’re done, post your time. You’ll see how right I am in my title.

 IH YAM HIER TWO TEL U AH TROOTH YU PRBELBY HAF KNOT THUOGT UV BEEFOR. SPELING IZ NUT TAHT INPERTANT. YESC, EVRIBUDY TELZ U ET IZ — YUR TEECHARS, YUR PERANTS, EVIN U PRALBLY BELEEV ET. BT YU KAN REED THEZ PRTTY FST EVUN THO EVRY WURD IZ RONG. OW EZ THEZ POSBL? BEKUZ YUR BRANE WURKS BETR THN U THOGHT.

So how long did it take you? An hour?? Dude, that is NOT GOOD! Now c’mon, be honest, you had to do better than that. Anyway, next time someone gets after you for your bad spelling (like I do with people sometimes), tell those people like me, “Lay off, Bobo. You can understand this just fine.” It might just shut us up.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Who thinks kids should never fail
Just because they can’t spell,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

Scientists agree — the Crank is #1. The Mars One Mission is dead and done.

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Post #155 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

Oh, Dr. Crankenfuss may only be in middle school, but when he speaks, scientists listen. You don’t believe me? Well, check out my blog post from February 20. In there I carefully and wisely analyzed the chances for people to get to Mars by 2024 on the Mars One mission that 200,000 people signed up for. (But only 24 will go in the end. THEIR END!) Near the end of the post I said, “But I don’t really think this thing will ever take off. It just kind of sounds too crazy to be real. Or even if it IS real, it still sounds too crazy.”

So yesterday (March 3) I find this article where Neil deGrasse Tyson, a super-famous astronomer, who used to be on Cosmos and now does StarTalkTV for National Geographic (which sounds good though I haven’t seen it yet) and other scientists tell how wacky the plans for Mars One are. Now most of their arguments are about the scientific part of the mission, but they definitely used one or two of my ideas. (They didn’t, however, bring up the “Attack of the Alien Zombies” danger I was brilliant enough to invent realize.)

What matters though is that I wrote my post around two weeks ago and NOW the scientific community is coming around to my side. There’s little doubt that at least some of them got a whiff of a certain cranky curmudgeon’s blog that always speaks the truth, whether people want to hear it or not. So say what you will, THE DOCTOR IS VALIDATED. I bet some of those scientists might end up being big fans of my site. And the next thing you know, I’ll have my own show on the National Geographic Channel. Maybe something like “Crankenfuss Gets Creative.” That would give me lots of room to maneuver, you see.

Ah, it feels good to be right. Of course that’s not a new feeling for me. It still feels good though.

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

To all Sports Fans: What works better — Prayer or Superstition?

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Post #154 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

I can picture the response to the question in the title. All sorts of trolls and haters are going to accuse me of going against God or something like that. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Hey, I pray too. I’m just trying to figure this out and nobody can really tell me what’s what so maybe you can.

Here’s the scene: The big game is coming up. Your team is playing. You want them to win real, real bad and so do your friends. What will help your team more: praying for them, or putting on a certain sweater or sitting in a certain seat or turning off the TV when your team gets behind because you think you have a jinx on them?

Now I know a bunch of you are going, “You idiot! Of course, prayer is better! God’s stronger than any superstition!”

Fine! But if that’s true, why do so many of you — and I put the emphasis on MANY — go through all those superstitious things. Like lucky numbers for winning the lottery? How often does that work? (Then again, how often does prayer work when it comes to winning the lottery?)

I mean I know why people pray. And I know who they’re praying to and who might grant their wish. BUT WHO’S THE TARGET OF SUPERSTITION? When you don’t walk under a ladder or you worry when a full moon’s coming up or you don’t step on a crack so your grandmother’s back stays healthy or you wear those unwashed-for-three-weeks-cause-your-team-is-still-winning socks, WHO’S THE “GUY (OR GAL) IN CHARGE” IN THOSE SITUATIONS? If your lucky underwear helps your team win, WHY DID THAT WORK? And if that didn’t work, how do people figure out which superstition WILL work?

Think about it. If you know how luck really works, you are going to be very rich… or happy… or successful… or at peace… or at least something you want to be. And if you don’t think it really works, then why do you do it?

Hey, I’m no genius — and I’m sure you all would agree with that — but don’t people see how superstition seems kind of silly? So why is it so strongly followed in so many things?

Yeah, I know I’m repeating myself, but I really would like some answers.

Good ones, okay?

From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
a guy looking for answers
where other people don’t even see a question,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Freak Speak

Being famous isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be

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Post #153 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger–

In my last post I told you that lots of people wanted to go to Mars on the Mars One project so they’d be famous and they’d be helping the world create a better future. Sounds kind of cool, doesn’t it? Well here’s an example where accomplishing the same results wouldn’t be so hot.

How’d you like to be super famous all over the world and be on TV over and over and over for almost four months? Almost everybody would know your name and be talking about you. “What could be wrong with that?” you ask. Well, it didn’t turn out so well for Barney Clark.

The year was 1982. The guy on the left in this picture below was named Barney Clark and he was the first person in the world to have an artificial heart.
barney_clark_from_cedmagic (I found this picture at the cedmagic.com website.) It was a really big event for medicine. A human getting an artificial heart for the first time in history! He was hopefully going to get better and live a productive life. (He was 61 when the operation happened.) But things didn’t turn out that way for Barney Clark. Sure, he was famous, on TV all the time, and all that stuff, but the artificial heart didn’t work so well for him and there were all sorts of complications. In fact, Mr. Clark suffered badly during the experience.

Barney Clark lasted 112 days on that machine. He never got out of the hospital again. He died. It was a very sad story and I feel bad for that poor man. (My granddad told me that story after he read my last post. He had me look up the info on Wikipedia.)

To be fair, Mr. Clark didn’t have a whole bunch of choices. He had been sick for a long time and the artificial heart was probably his only chance. Also he didn’t ask to be famous, but that’s what happened.

But, like I said, when it comes to new untested science, couldn’t similar things happen to those people on that Mars One mission? They want to be famous. Well, they’ll get that. But the science will be mostly new. And untested. Unlike Barney Clark, Mars One astronauts DO have other choices. Like not signing up! Think about it, people!

Just trying to help, as usual.
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

P.S. And please say a prayer for Mr. Barney Clark. It was not easy for him or his family.