Humor Post #113 from the world’s Awesomest & Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School and YA Blog –
No humor today, people. I’m going to talk about a problem that bothers me a lot: bullying. It’s lucky that I’m not a big victim of bullying. Probably a matter of luck in some way. My humor and being a wise**s in class probably makes some people think I’m not too much of a dweeb. I get myself in trouble by being called down by the teacher so maybe the bullies think I’m something like them. Plus I never say no if someone asks me for help on a problem or their homework (if it’s not too long) so maybe I’m considered a bit valuable. And maybe it’s partly ’cause I like sports so much though I’m not good enough to make the school teams. (On a scale of 10, I’m probably around a 6.) But I can talk sports as well as anybody and that makes me seem more “normal,” I guess. Also I wear the same type clothes most everyone does. Nothing hurts you worse than looking like you don’t have a clue about how to dress. People pick up on that fast.
But I do see bullying. I see kids getting their books knocked out of their hands or being called names. And no, I don’t get up in the bully’s face and tell him to stop. (And I’m not talking about girl bullying. Some of those girls are even meaner than the guys.) The most I’ve ever done is get kind of close so maybe the bully can see there’s a witness. I think that’s helped a few times, but I don’t take much credit for it. A few times I’ve gone in a teacher’s room (if I knew the teacher) and quietly let them know there was a problem outside. But only a few. I don’t want to be called a snitch. For some people, that’s the worst thing there is.
I know what the right thing to do is. Stand up for people. Easy to say, not easy to do ’cause it’s so dangerous. (If I have to explain why, you’re probably not smart enough to be reading this.) Let’s face it: there are some mean people in this world. And they’re not the type to change just because someone tells them they’re not being nice. Maybe they had a hard life and they’re angry. Doesn’t matter. They still can hurt you.
So I’ve done what I always like to do: write a poem. I don’t know if it’ll do any good and I know I’m no hero. But here it is.
HOW TO SORT OF DEAL WITH BULLYING
by Dr. Crankenfuss
Bullying is bad,
Most people agree.
You see encouraging ads
They put on TV.
There’s a nationwide program
Do-Gooders share,
But there’s one little problem:
Bullies don’t care.
They don’t ever feel
Their job is finished,
And if they get caught,
They’re hardly ever punished.
If they’re called to the office,
Their parents usually whine.
See, lots of bad fruit
Comes from the same vine.
The best plan is clear:
Stay out of their sight.
If they don’t notice you,
You’ll be all right.
Sometimes someone
Stands up and fights back.
But it’s then that bullies’ friends
Join the attack.
And school’s not the end,
There’s a monster combine,
If they miss you in class,
They can get you online.
Bullies are dictators,
They award themselves crowns.
They feel like kings
If they can hold you down.
But nature can be cruel,
And there are bullies in history.
That there are bullies in school
Should be no mystery.
Sometimes you can take comfort
That school’s just a stage
‘Cause many bullies grow up
To make minimum wage.
But others are rewarded,
They make the big bucks.
It’s a sad piece of evidence
That life sometimes sucks.
The public likes bad boys
And it’s not subliminal.
Look how Hollywood
Practically worships the criminal.
Look how we idolize
Athletes beating their chests.
Some fans think they’re cool
If their team is the best.
My only advice
Is to look for connection.
Find your own kind,
Stick together for protection.
Believe in yourself,
Work hard and in time
You’ll see being different
Is in no way a crime.
Pursue what you love,
Find out where you’re best,
‘Cause nobody’s special
If they’re exactly like the rest.
Don’t ever give up,
Life’s one long fight.
Give ’em your best shot
And you might be all right.
From Your Dude with the ‘Tude (who wishes he was braver),
Dr. Crankenfuss
