October | 2013 | Freaky Dude Books

Humor Post #127 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping Middle School blogger –

First things first. You can see my new rap video — I’M GONNA BE A HIP HOP STAR — by clicking here. Be sure to put it on full screen ’cause Daniel got the HD part working great.

Now check out that title at the top of this post. Amazing, isn’t it? No, not that I have a new rap video online. Hey, there’ll be more of those comin’ for sure. Nah, it’s the second part of the title that’s so amazing. I’m totally satisfied with it. No joke! Hey, even my picture (at the left) is different. See that smile on my face? Okay, so I have a hard time smiling. It’s not easy for a grouch like me to get all slappy-happy, okay. But I’m working on it.

Major props to Daniel for his work on this video. Couldn’t have done it without you, DB. Actually, I probably couldn’t have done any of it. I guess I’m sorry for pushing you so hard on this, bro, but hey, it’s my star vehicle, ya know. It was kind of hard for me to stay all cool and laid back about it. I hate to admit it, but I’m just a little bit self-centered. But a lot of you have figured that out already, haven’t you?

Except for the video, not much to say today. That’s ’cause I gotta get back to working on my book. Yeah, that’s right — A BOOK! Right now, I’m thinking the title should be DR. CRANKENFUSS IS TICKED OFF AND HE AIN’T TAKIN’ IT NO MORE! but who knows, I may end up having one of my bango-smasho brainstorms and it’ll change. It will have some of my posts — the best ones, of course — and a bunch of jokes and cartoons Daniel and I are working on. I’m thinking a month should be enough, but as long as we get it out by mid December, I’m fine with that.

Actually, that’s it. Not much humor today, but hey, I’ve been kind of tied up. Okay, how’s this for something not about me?

You know those”World’s Strongest Man” contests on TV. Well I have an event that would be a killer for those guys: Prying apart two shopping carts that are stuck together.

There you go. Now I can still officially call this another humor post.

From your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss

Humor Post #126 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping Middle School blogger –

Yo, peeps. If you’re watching the baseball playoffs, you’re probably watching some great baseball. You and about fifty people around the world.

Yeah, I’m exaggerizing. Millions do watch, but very few millions. Now me, I like baseball. This year I’m for the Pirates. Or Cleveland. Or Oakland. Or anybody else who doesn’t win the World Series too often. (Or ever.) Or I cheer for some team whose city is often put down. Hey, it’s easy to root for teams who usually win and who can afford to spend $25 million for one crummy player — see NY Yankees and one Alex Rodriguez — or for cities that have big tourist business, but to me it’s much more exciting to see underdogs win. I mean, who plans a vacation trip to Cleveland or Detroit?

So what do I mean by that oh so mysterious title of mine? Well, I’ll explain. I was online reading ESPN — my favorite news site — and I clicked on MLB (for Major League Baseball) to see what time different playoff games were on. But what I found out was how little interest there is even in teams’ home towns. For example, tonight Tampa Bay is playing Cleveland. At Cleveland. As you may know, Cleveland has had some pitiful press lately, what with that guy imprisoning those women for ten years and so on. You’d think they’d be going crazy over their team. But this morning there were still over 800 tickets still available for the game. (If you don’t believe me, go to this page and check it out for yourself.

HUH? They can’t even fill up their own stadium for a playoff game? Why am I using my (incredibly valuable) time to watch something that can’t even sell out where it happens.

It gets worse. There are 4-5,000 seats available for most all the games through the weekend. And Monday and Tuesday, the Dodgers and Detroit have around 10,000 tickets unsold! Those little guys (the tickets, not the players) are probably sitting around hoping someone will adopt them or else they’ll get tossed into the garbage like… well, like garbage. LA has like 10 million people or somewhere around that and they can’t sell out their ballpark? Please! Aren’t these the most important games of the year?

I don’t think football has this problem. People go crazy over the pro playoffs. Heck, on Saturday afternoons, even college games don’t have any trouble selling out. I think it’s Michigan that packs in like 108,000 people for their home games. 108 thousand?? They probably have to pass out oxygen masks for the people sitting in the top rows. They should at least provide telescopes.

Compared to football, baseball doesn’t cut it in fan support. Point made. Game, set, and match to Dr. Crankenfuss. Baseball, make yourselves more relevant or you might lose probably your most important fan. That would be me, of course.

From your dude with the ‘tude,
The sports-loving Dr. Crankenfuss