Tag Archives: pro football

Something stupid we don’t need: the 2-minute warning in football

Post #144 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping blogger –

This will be a pretty short Crankenfuss post. Okay, you can stop with the cheering and let me talk. Here it is:
What’s with the two-minute warning in pro football? Why do coaches and players have to be told there are two minutes left in a half? Is there anyone on the team or in the stands that doesn’t know how much time is left? Only the ones who can’t read a digital clock.

College and high school games don’t have a two-minute warning. So how come pros need one. Are they dumber?  Well, here’s the real reason: It gives the TV network an extra two minutes to stick in some commercials. And you know that fans need these commercials. That’s because we’ve hardly seen any up until that time. NOT!

Aren’t football games long enough already? To play 60 minutes takes around 3 1/2 hours!

Okay, I looked it up and it’s even worse than that. Out of the 3 1/2 hours, only 11 minutes actually has any action. All the rest is replays, commercials, guys standing around in huddles, shots of fans with their shirts off and covered with paint and going “B-l-a-a-a-ah!,” and so on. If you don’t believe me, here’s where I found my info.

Enough already.

So let’s start by getting rid of that ridiculous two-minute warning and then maybe go next to the five minutes it takes between a score and when the other team starts their offense. I know I’ll have a hard time living without those ads with guys acting totally stupid while they try to sell me beer, but I think I can survive that.

From Dr. Crankenfuss,
a guy who likes football,
so he’d actually like to see some of it

Between football and baseball, football’s #1 and baseball’s #8 or so.

Humor Post #126 from Dr. Crankenfuss, The World’s Awesomest Raving and Rapping Middle School blogger –

Yo, peeps. If you’re watching the baseball playoffs, you’re probably watching some great baseball. You and about fifty people around the world.

Yeah, I’m exaggerizing. Millions do watch, but very few millions. Now me, I like baseball. This year I’m for the Pirates. Or Cleveland. Or Oakland. Or anybody else who doesn’t win the World Series too often. (Or ever.) Or I cheer for some team whose city is often put down. Hey, it’s easy to root for teams who usually win and who can afford to spend $25 million for one crummy player — see NY Yankees and one Alex Rodriguez — or for cities that have big tourist business, but to me it’s much more exciting to see underdogs win. I mean, who plans a vacation trip to Cleveland or Detroit?

So what do I mean by that oh so mysterious title of mine? Well, I’ll explain. I was online reading ESPN — my favorite news site — and I clicked on MLB (for Major League Baseball) to see what time different playoff games were on. But what I found out was how little interest there is even in teams’ home towns. For example, tonight Tampa Bay is playing Cleveland. At Cleveland. As you may know, Cleveland has had some pitiful press lately, what with that guy imprisoning those women for ten years and so on. You’d think they’d be going crazy over their team. But this morning there were still over 800 tickets still available for the game. (If you don’t believe me, go to this page and check it out for yourself.

HUH? They can’t even fill up their own stadium for a playoff game? Why am I using my (incredibly valuable) time to watch something that can’t even sell out where it happens.

It gets worse. There are 4-5,000 seats available for most all the games through the weekend. And Monday and Tuesday, the Dodgers and Detroit have around 10,000 tickets unsold! Those little guys (the tickets, not the players) are probably sitting around hoping someone will adopt them or else they’ll get tossed into the garbage like… well, like garbage. LA has like 10 million people or somewhere around that and they can’t sell out their ballpark? Please! Aren’t these the most important games of the year?

I don’t think football has this problem. People go crazy over the pro playoffs. Heck, on Saturday afternoons, even college games don’t have any trouble selling out. I think it’s Michigan that packs in like 108,000 people for their home games. 108 thousand?? They probably have to pass out oxygen masks for the people sitting in the top rows. They should at least provide telescopes.

Compared to football, baseball doesn’t cut it in fan support. Point made. Game, set, and match to Dr. Crankenfuss. Baseball, make yourselves more relevant or you might lose probably your most important fan. That would be me, of course.

From your dude with the ‘tude,
The sports-loving Dr. Crankenfuss