Humor Post #43 from the world’s Crankiest Curmudgeon’s Middle School Blog (and probably the awesomest YA blog too) –

You thought I was done turning sports rules upside down? Hey, I’m just getting started. I mean, pro baseball just expanded their playoffs. That’s rule changing, isn’t it? And they want the new round of playoffs to be ONE GAME. Remember, baseball isn’t like football or basketball where you have the same team every game. In baseball, the main ingredient changes every game. And that would be the pitcher. A baseball team changes from a Monday to a Tuesday like a cake changes to a pie. Both have most of the same stuff, but boy, they don’t look or taste the same. Not that I’m talking about tasting a baseball team, but you get the picture. Anyway, what I’m saying is that this first round should be best two out of three. That would at least test the main part of both teams’ starting pitching staff.

But here’s the rule I really want to change in baseball: THE INTENTIONAL BASE ON BALLS. I want it banned, banished, killed, have the big kabosh put on it. It’s way worse than the “Hack a Hulk” intentional fouls I talked about in my last post. At least there the player has a chance to make two points. In baseball, he just gets to first base with no chance to make even a double.

Let’s use Barry Bonds as an example. Now I was about three years old when he was blasting just about everything out of the park. But everyone knows about him. And in 2004 — I looked this up — he was at bat 617 times and walked 232 times. That’s over 1/3 of the time! Now “only” 120 of these walks were listed as “intentional,” but come on. You know what happened. Most pitchers who did take the chance of facing ol’ Barry probably gave him nothing to really hit and he ended up getting an “unintentional” walk.

And just to stick this amazing fact in, Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals was given an intentional walk in the World Series WITH NO ONE ON BASE. The Texas Rangers were so afraid of what Albert could do them they didn’t even give him the chance to bat WITH NOBODY ON BASE. Oh, am I repeating myself? repeating myself? Well, that’s because it’s unbelievable to me that the whole sport wouldn’t let all their paying customers get to see what they buy their tickets to see. Let’s see, wouldn’t that be one team’s pitcher trying to get out the other team’s best hitter?

So I don’t know what else to say about it. I guess we could let football teams let the other team’s best runner get a free three yards every time he touches the ball. As soon as that guy got handed the ball, the game could be stopped and the runner’s team would get a free three yards.

I can’t figure out how you could work that “intentional walk” or “Hack the Hulk” in hockey. Makes me want to get more into hockey.

Now I’ll shut up. Let’s just get rid of the intentional walk in baseball so the fans get to see hitters hit.

From your Dude with the ‘Tude,
Dr. Crankenfuss